Tim Cook is about to go to sleep. I say that I thought about him this morning while at the gym and ask what kind of workouts he does. He is lying in bed. He looks at me and opens his MacBook Air which shows about three months of bar graphs and says "Michael, do you like pain?"
Girl at the bus stop
Put down your grocery bags
It's been a long day
You don't have any big plans for tonight
Take out your gum
Open up the cereal for a snack
That was the best bite in the box
Because it's in your mouth
Here I am at the gym at 3:30 AM with my polar opposite. I wonder if I will ever make it on a big poster like him.
I would definitely look better with the flat white ghost puma jumping along with me all day. I would make the folks at Starbucks give me a little dish of water for him to drink from. Maybe he drinks espresso! Who knows?
8:15 PM Monday, December 10, 2012
Today was a wash. Drove all the way down to Half Moon Bay to pick up a hair product I was recommended. I rubbed it on my head in the parking lot and drove around the block before realizing it wasn't any good. I returned it to the store and drove back to the Chit Chat Cafe.
5:30 PM December 11, 2012
I'm here at the Surf Lounge. Getting a scotch and soda in a pint glass for three dollars from a short bartender made me feel cheap. So this time I got better scotch and tipped a dollar fifty. What a special angel I am. A bearded cherub out doing God's work all day.
"I hope you like Scotch!" said the tiny man as he poured it over the ice. Then, while staring me down, he blinked, and in what seemed like an accident sprayed about three soda bubbles into the glass.
December 17, 2012
My ego is the size of barn for Clydesdale horses. It's like Clifford the dog's house. Helicopters circle it all day, reporting on the traffic.
6PM, Friday, December 21, 2012
I'm writing this entry from the parking lot of the Serramonte Center, a mall in Daly City. It's the Friday before Christmas and the parking lot is full of people trying to get in some last minute shopping. The commotion is soothing.
My mother has sent me a tiny Christmas tree and some cookies which I keep in this van. I lay and nibble on the cookies whilst listening to the shoppers circle the lot searching for the space I have taken. I am very full of cookies now. There is an old red truck pulling in beside me. I imagine it is Santa.
There is also a very noisy tow truck parked directly behind my van. It is drowning out the sounds of the crying children who were comforting me. He may be helping an old man start his car.
Police: "Hello, Daly City Police Department."
Me: "Hi. I'd like to report a disturbance."
Police: "Yes, sir. Can I ask where you're calling from?"
Me: "I'm calling from the parking lot of the Serramonte Mall in Daly City."
Police: "What seems to be the problem?"
Me: "There's a man with a wrench outside my van. He was tapping it on one of the cars. I think he might be trying to fix it."
Police: "Is the man armed?"
Me: "Well he has that wrench."
Police: "Does he appear to own the vehicle he is fixing?"
Me: "No. I can see the owner, he's not the problem. It's the guy with the wrench and the tow truck that is keeping me awake."